Merry Christmas to Everyone!

It's Esther 1st Christmas and she does not have a clue what all the fuss is about. In the past weeks, we have bought presents, put up the Christmas tree, send out Christmas card and bought Christmas food. The shopping centre is packed full of people everyday. Everyone is busy preparing for this festive season. However, Christmas celebration will become meaningless if it was not about the LORD JESUS CHRIST. He is the reason for the season. "For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:11. God had given us the best gift - His Son to be our Saviour.

It is also about GIVE and RECEIVE. You see God gave us His Son Jesus. So that He could die for us on the cross to save us form our sins. What we have to do is to simply receive it with faith. We usually buy  Christmas gifts to our family and friends and we love to see them gladly receive it. Can you see God's Love for you? Have you received His gift of salvation?

We will be celebrating Christmas with our family. We thank God for giving us a wonderful year of 2009. He provide and guide us in everything we do. We can say in confidence that we are lack of nothing because God is our everything. Let us come and adore Him Christ the LORD!

Yes one of the most exciting trip had arrived. On 9th Dec we  (us and Dane's parents) flew from Brisbane to Sydney then transferred to Wagga. The trip was exciting because we were going to see Dane - my hubby, my children's father and my in-laws' son. It was an enjoyable flight except Esther was screaming during our flight from Brisbane to Sydney.

We arrived safely at Wagga Airport and checked in to our accommodation at about 2:00pm. At about 5pm we went and picked up Dane from his training base. I was waiting anxiously at the gate and was very nervous to see Dane again. We were surrounded by many other families and friends who were also waiting for their loved ones. Suddenly there was this man waving at me and I honestly could not recognise him at all. Yes,it's my handsome husband. He looked like he's 18 again. Well I supposed that was the result of him losing 9 kilos during his training.

Our 2 beautiful children

Getting ready to attend daddy's graduation

Immediately after picking up Dane, we went to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. It was so strange to have him by my side and be able to hold him again. Jono was also excited to see daddy. He could not stop talking to him and telling him about everything. During our car trip I was sitting between Jono and Dane. Jono actually asked me to move so he could see Dane. Well his exact words was: "Mummy, can you move your body? I want to see daddy." LOL

My man in uniform.

The Drill

The next day we attended Dane's graduation and it was a truly emotional 50 minutes ceremony. We were all so proud of him to complete this tough training. To me, that was the day I had been waiting for. The day when I got to see him again and to witness him realising his dream. We were all so proud of his achievement. Just to prove that it's never too late or too old to pursue our dreams.

Next morning we left Wagga to Sydney. We spent the night and the next day in Sydney before we flew back to Brisbane. We enjoyed family time with Dane's family. We visited Sydney Opera House, Syndey Harbour Bridge and cruised on the ferries. It was so nice to have Dane back and do things together as a family.

Our fun Sydney Trip

Now, we are going to spend 4 weeks together before Dane leaves again on the 11th Jan. It will be another 10 weeks separation but we will try to make visits in between. I thanked God for His love and comforts, for his protection and provision that we helped us got through this 9.5 weeks of separation. God is good all the time!

Esther is such a happy girl that most people think she does not cry (well how I wish it's true). She would smile at anyone anytime. I love taking her photos as she is always smiling. Her smile is so sweet and innocent. How blessed I'm to be Esther's mum. When I feel sad or stressed I would just look at Esther and she would give me a nice big smile. It always make me feel so much better.
Philipians 4:4 says Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Thank you Lord for Smiley Esther!

SMILE!

Have you heard of the term 'Married Single Mum'? Do you know anyone who is or you are one as well. I found out that I'm one when I was searching other people's experience dealing with husband working away. And yes, I'm a MSM. My husband has been away for 8 weeks now and we are missing him dearly. I have the responsibility of looking after our children. It is not easy as I have my limitation and I do need someone to share the job.

I think the hardest thing is I had relied heavily on Dane before this and I was lost without him.  When he was still here I could call/sms him whenever I need him during the day and he is never too far away. When the days got tough I would just look at the clock and knew that Dane would be home at 5:30pm. He would be here and give me a break. He could lend me his shoulder and give me a hug. 8 weeks I haven't seen him and so do the kids. It took me a few weeks to get the routine right and settled down the kids and myself. No more waiting for Dane to come home so I can cook dinner or go out to do some shopping. There's no other person to bath/shower the kids, to change them, or put them to bed. I have to do it all by myself. Even though I'm staying with my in-laws but they are both working full-time and they are very busy. Ultimately I'm the parent so I do it all. Also I better get used to it too because once we're posted to Newcastle, Adelaide or Darwin I will have no family or friends (hopefully to make some new friends) around. However, God is my strength and He is with me. Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

 

Even though Dane is not physically with us but he is still one of us. He is still the head of this house and we love him.  I think I'm still learning to find the balance and not to make my children feel that they only need mummy. Wisdom I really need it so much. Know how to involve Dane to still be part of our lives is the thing I have to put effort in. I started to talk about daddy and what daddy would do if he was here. I tried to talk  to Jono about the things that we do together with daddy. We wrote letters to daddy and we took photos so we can send it to him. No doubt there's time when Jono wanted to be with daddy and he was very sad that he couldn't go to training with daddy. However, he has been very stable and settled in the last few weeks. At the same time, I have become more independent and learnt to do many things by myself. Even though I know I could do it all but having Dane to share the load would be better. After all marriage is a two people's business. We also have built our family together and it's never complete without him. around. I really missed him last night when it was all quiet and I had no one to share my thoughts/feelings with. By that time we had not talk for 2 days. Thankfully we had about 10 minutes tonight on the phone. It 's so comforting to be able to hear his voice again.

I thank you Lord for giving me strength and comfort when things are tough. Thank you for your daily protection and provision. I can do nothing without you. When there's no one else around I know I have you. You have promised that You will never leave us nor forsake us. I prayed that my life reflects you and that my children will see how mummy's God is a living God. Help me to be an example to them and show them what being strong and courageous mean. Let them learn about how mummy and daddy trust in God and live their lives according to the Bible's Truth. Thank you for everything and I know I'm a happy and blessed 'Married Single Mum'.

My 12 pink roses

On the afternoon of 9th Nov 2009, I got a nice surprise delivered at my door. 12 gorgeous pink roses from my hubby Dane. It really made my day and possibly weeks ahead.. It was so great to 'see' my hubby's love as he was going into bush for that week and we were not able to talk on the phone for whole 6 days.

He was never ever a romantic man, and I am not that type of girl that looks for that either. However, when I got the flowers I was absolutely stoked! Thanks HUBBY, I love you!

We will be able to meet again in less than a month!!!! How can I make it go faster?

My parenting days are getting more and more intellectually challenging. My cheeky boy Jono continues to ask WHY about anything and everything.

For example:

Me: Jono, come and have dinner.

J: Why? Why we have dinner for?

M: Because we get hungry and we need food to give us energy?

J: Why we get hungry for? Why we need energy?

M: We need energy to play and do work. (started to get impatience)

J: Why we play and work? Why mummy? Why?

M: That's what we do.

J: Why????? Why mummy?

M: Ok, eat your dinner. (Stop to explain any more because he is never satisfied with the answers) :P

J: WHy????????

Above is only a tiny glimpse of my "WHY days". I suppose he is going through a stage of learning about others and learning about himself. He is curious and he wanted to know why. He is forcing to me find out more about our world and myself so I can explain them to him. I remember one of my high school English teacher Encik Rahman who often told us we need to be smart so we can answer our children's questions or they would think we are stupid. I guess no parents want their children to think that their parents are dumb. :( However, it is imposibble to know about everything or to have answer for them. The key is to willing to learn and find out as much as we can. Make it a learning process for both parents and the children. I'm proud to know the difference between a seal and a sea lion is that sea lion has ears and seal does not! Amazing right? hahaha

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. ~ Frank A. Clark ~

I found this quote today and I totally agreed with it. Never before I felt that whatever I do I have to be able to explain to my 3 year old just because he wanted to know about everything. My personal beliefs and convictions have never been so carefully thought about so that I can simply and precisely explain them to my son. I reckon this is a great way to find out how much you really know about yourself and things you do and believe in. Parents are like an open book studied by their children who watch them intensely and closely as they learn about life. They in return will be a reflection of us as they learn from us everyday. So be careful what you instill in your children, you reap what you sow!

Sometimes parents can be really mean. As a mummy I have done some mean things. Here are some of the them:

1) I asked Jono to collect leaves in the backyard to keep him busy for ages. My real reason was I'm lazy to clean up those leaves myself. :P

2) Take the batteries out of his toys and tell him that they're not working anymore. Just so that I can put them away because they annoyed me so much.

3) Secretly eating Jono's biscuits (Dane does the same) and tell him that he was the one who finished them. :P

4) I gave Jono some water instead of the real thing when he ask for 'medicine' because he's sick. LOL

5) I cut up the lollies into tiny pieces so when he asks for lolly I would give him one with no hesitation (one really tiny piece).

6) Telling him 'mummy's busy working' when I was just doing some surfing on the laptop. Very very naughty mummy!

There are many others things but I can't list them all. The idea is parents can be mean sometimes! Hahaha, watch out kids!

Mean Parents

Esther is 8 months old. She is growing up too fast and I can't keep up with it. She has been crawling since 6.5 months and loves pulling herself up since 7 months. She is a chatterbox too. She likes making joyful noise and can say dadadada, duck and tada. Notice the similarity? Yes the D sound, babies can make this sound very easily. Another sound they can make easily is bababa sounds. It's just amazing to see how babies develop and grow, day by day they learn different things and become a little person of their own .

Jono sometimes can get really rough with Esther and he even said to me that he doesn't like Esther. :-( He seems to think Esther is taking over his territory and he is not happy with that. Aaahh the joy of sibling jealousy. Pray that Jono will come around soon enough to know that Esther is not going anywhere and she is part of us. :P

Thank you God for my two beautiful children who continue to amaze me and bring me lots of joyful and tearful moments. They are part of Dane and I. Even though I cannot see or touch dear hubby Dane for few more weeks but I'm able to hold mini Dane and mini Josephine. I can see us in them. :D

1) "I'm a man, I can drink COKE!" He said this to his grandparents when they took him to McDonald's.

2) When I told him we're going to Wagga Wagga and Sydney to see daddy. He said "No, daddy is not in Wagga Wagga, daddy is in training." :D

3) Every time when I drop him off at his kindy, he would say "Mummy, I want to go home". And when I go pick him up, he would say "Mummy, I don't want to go home". Just as well I don't listen to him or ask him to make decision because he does not have a clue what he really wants. :P

4) He also got this really strong view that pink is only for girls. I never said that to him but I think he made his mind up after seeing most girls like pink stuffs. So he asked me, "Mummy, are pigs girl? Why are they pink?"

Some higher level thinking questions:

1) He asked me the other day "Who made God?" I replied, God is always there, no one made him.

2) While we were watching NEMO, he asked me in the beginning of the movie when Marlin and his wife were naming their babies, "Why Nemo's mummy died?" I was not prepared for it and was really shocked. Sadly I said to him people do die and we can't stop it. We were both very sad to think that Nemo could not be with his mummy. I think he started to understand death means separation.

Jono's favourite character in 'Finding Nemo' is Dory

I watched this video today, and I just have to share it.



Below is an article I found on the internet that tells us more about the story:

I want to share with you a true story about a man named John Griffith. In the 1930’s he worked as the controller of a huge railroad bridge across the Mississippi River. Every day at certain scheduled times the huge bridge was raised so that barges and other ships might make their way down the river. And according to a schedule, John would lower the bridge so that the freight and passenger trains could rush across.

In the summer of 1937, John Griffith took his then eight-year-old son with him to work for the first time. The boy was excited to watch the big railroad bridge and the trains & boats, and also to see the control house with all kinds of levers over which his daddy had absolute control.

His father took him to an observation deck so that he could watch the boats and trains go by. At noon John put the bridge up to let some ships go by since there would not be a train coming for awhile. He made his way to the observation deck where the two of them had lunch.

Just as John was telling a long story about the trains & boats, he was startled by the shrieking of a train whistle in the distance. He quickly looked at his watch and noticed that it was 1:07.

In the midst of his story telling he had forgotten that the passenger train - the express for Memphis with 400 passengers on board - would soon be roaring across that bridge.

Without panic but very quickly he leaped from the observation deck and ran back to the control tower. He placed his hand upon the massive iron controls and started to close the bridge. But before pulling the lever, he glanced down beneath the bridge to see if there were any ships beneath it.

There a sight caught his eye that made nearly made his heart stop.

His son had slipped from the observation deck and had fallen into the huge gears that operate the bridge. Though the boy was still alive and conscious, his left leg was caught in the cogs of the main gears!   John knew that if he pulled that lever his son would be crushed.

His eyes filled with tears of panic, and his head was spinning. What he could do was to take a rope, rush to the observation tower, tie it and lower himself into the gear box, free his son, bring him back up to the observation deck, and make his way quickly back to the control tower to lower the bridge.

But no sooner had he thought it, than he knew there was no way he could do it in time for the train.

Again, closer than ever, the train whistle sounded. He could hear the wheels clicking over the tracks and the puffing of the engine.

But that was his son!

Yet there were 400 passengers on that train which was roaring toward the bridge. But John Griffith was a father and that was his boy!

………He knew what he had to do…….. so he buried his head in his left arm and pulled the master lever.

That massive bridge lowered into place just as the Memphis Express roared across the Mississippi.

When he lifted his head with his face smeared with tears, he looked into the passing windows of the train.

There were businessmen casually reading their afternoon papers, uniformed conductors looking at their large vest-pocket watches, well-dressed ladies in the dining car sipping coffee, and children pushing long spoons into the dishes of ice cream.

No one looked at the control house and no one looked at the great gear box.

With wrenching agony, John Griffith cried out at the train---- "I sacrificed my son for you! Don't you care?"  But nobody heard.  They never even looked up from their newspapers, watches, coffee and ice cream.

The Son of God has been sacrificed so that we might have eternal life.

Will we look up from our newspapers, watches, coffee and ice cream?

Jono is growing up so fast. He enjoys learning about everything and loves reading information/fact books. He asks lots of why and how questions. He's indeed a keen learner and I enjoy teaching him and sharing what I know with him. As a parent and a teacher, I personally think parents are their children's best teacher. You can send your child to the best school in town but you never spend anytime with them nor teach them anything, then you are wasting your money. Many children in top schools might achieve really well academically, but failed as a person. We can see some of them do drugs and some of them steal and what not. I have seen many parents thought the school is responsible to teach their kids since they send them there. Not so, we as teacher can only do so much in the class.

Every now and then when people praised Jono and how good he was, I felt a sense of pride because I was the one who taught him to have good manners, to share and to be nice to others. I make sure I spend the most time with him not his kindy teacher. Imagine one day when there's a conflict between what you teach your children and what their teacher shows them, and who would they listen to? Do you want them to listen to you or their teacher?

So, parents, spend as much time with your kids and show them the way of lives. We as Christians should be faithful parents to our children. Nannies, childcare, schools, even grandparents can only do so much for them, the responsibility rests on you - Mum and Dad!

"Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-8

Yes, my Lord cares for me and He is always there for me. I know I'm never alone! HE KNOWS everything about me and my condition.

I'm counting my blessings and learn to be thankful and joyful!

I'm feeling under the weather. I'm sick with the flu and is really missing Dane. It's two weeks now since he left for his trianing. He is doing great and very much enjoying the whole thing. I'm doing ok but no doubt I would have days like this when I feel run down and really wish he was here with me.

However, I thanked God for my two beautiful children who keep me busy and focused. Jono is still very chatty and he is learning to cope without daddy. He has started to learn to play with Esther and share his toys with her. :D Esther is very mobile now that she can crawl. She also loves to stand up holding on to tables or anything she can hold on to. She can say 'dadada' as to daddy and duck. How clever!

Everyday I just hang around for Dane's 6pm phone call and that would definitely make me feel better and ready for the next day. Less than 2 months to go now! Can't wait!

Jonathan is a delightful 3 year old boy who loves to talk all day. He is friendly and often mixes well with other kids. I mean I could not ask for a more cheerful son than him. However, he has entered into the phase I called: "The Negative Three" (in light of the 'Terrible Two'). He used to love his food, his bath, go to bed peacefully but lately he refused to have bath/shower, becoming difficult at meal times and his favourite excuse now is "I don't want to do anything". My patience has once again been tested on a daily basis. The battle of getting him dress, getting ready to go out, or whatever it is, the response is usually NO. It's ok if I have the time of the world to be with him but I still have a 7 minths old daughter who equally needs me to spend time with her. So, I try to be calm and firmly guided Jonathan to do what he needed to do everyday. It's hard and emotionally draining. Undoubtedly, there were times when I lost it and I just asked him to go to his room and let us both calm down. Hopefully when he turns 4 it would be a fabulous four. :D

On the same note, my little Esther who had been sleeping through for 12 hours straight at night since 10 weeks old started waking up at nights for the last week or so. She would screamed and appeared very distressed. I really hope it is teething because I NEED my SLEEP BACK.

 

Our recent trip to the zoo

The good news is Dane might be able to finish his training a week earlier. That means he could spend 4 weeks over Christmas time with us before he leaves again for his employment training. The things that get me going is the HOPE that we are going to meet again. WIthout hope there is no purpose for living. Yes, we all need hope and real hope can only be found in THE LORD JESUS CHRIST. "Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will rest in hope." Psalm 16:9

Today is the 4th day without Dane. We actually had an excellent day. I took the kids to swimming lesson with my mum-in-law. Jono was unwilling to go to the swimming lesson and he refused to get into the water. He never did this before and we think it's because daddy was not around. However, once he got into the water he was fine and enjoyed his lesson.

After swimming lesson and breakfast, we sat down and watched NEMO for the 100th time (a bit of exaggerating here, but we do watch it so often that I lost count). He has always love watching NEMO, but he particularly wanted to watch it more this week and I think it's the daddy and son story that he likes. :D I know my poor boy is missing his daddy. He fell asleep on the couch and I managed to get a few things done while Esther was happily playing by herself.

After Jono had a nap, I took the kids to the shopping centre to kill some time. We bought a few things and spent about 2 hours there. It was a first time for me going out on a Saturday with 2 kids without Dane. Jono and Esther were extremely good the whole time. Oh I should also thanked my Phil and Teds double pram which allows me to push two kids and enjoy my shopping. I got it 2nd hand form Ebay because I could not manage to have Esther in the single pram and Jono walking when we go out anymore. As very often, Jono would want me to carry him and he is just too heavy for me. As a result, I'm happy with the decision to invest $250 in this 4yrs old double pram (which would cost about AUD$600-$900 brand new depends on the model). I have fallen in love with it already after just 2 days of having it. It also allows me to go out for my evening walk with the two kids by myself with no hassle.

A picture of the pram

Well as for me, I'm still missing Dane a lot. Missing everything about him even his bad habits. :P Everyday, I would hang around waiting for his phone call and listen to his voice. We are not allow to use video call because of privacy and security reason. He is not allow to take photos of the place as well. I guess being in the military it makes sense. However, I'm slowing getting used to not having him around physically. I thank God for family, friends and their supports.  

Dane has finally been enlisted today (6/10/2009). It was very hard to say goodbye. We will be separated for 10 weeks. It is so far the longest separation we have to go through. In fact, we have never been separated since we're married 5 years ago. No doubt, there was tears of joy and sadness. Joy because Dane is one step closer to realise his dream. Sadness because I will be by myself and  the two kids will have no daddy around for 10 weeks.

                                               Special Enlistment Ceremony at Anzac Square              
          
I pray for strengths each day that I'll be able to look after the kids and with stand the loneliness. I feel lost and as if part of me is missing. However, with God all things are possible. Praying for Dane too as he will be going through some tough military training.

I had been so busy during the last few days. I was so busy shopping with Dane. :P We bought so many things that it almost filled up our whole car. We were getting things that Dane would have to bring for his 10 weeks training. The defence force is so strict that almost everything has to be in perfect condition so we just bought everything brand new.

Jonathan seems to get the idea that daddy is going away soon and he just says he wanted to go to training with daddy. I am really concern about his reactions when he realises daddy is not going to be around for a while. He is a real daddy's boy.

Esther is 7 months old now and she is a real delight. Everyone who sees her loves her smile. One thing I discovered is she loves playing with plastic bags. She would grab onto the nappy sack eveytime I change her and she never got sicked of doing it. What a funny girl.

I had a hair cut today and also collected my new glasses. I feel afresh and ready to face the new challenge before us. God is with us and he knows all our needs! God is good all the time.

Have been living with my in-laws since Friday. I'm just so tired from moving. Trying to fit a family into another family is hard. However, I'm glad that we have good relationships with each other and I practically have the house to myself during the day since everyone is working except me.

Esther is able to sit and push herself up to a sitting position, kinda crawling and babbling heaps. Jono loves his new childcare and have made some new friends. He also enjoys seeing his grandparents and favourite auntie everyday. He can chat with them all day long.

Dane is leaving in less than 2 weeks. Praying that those 10 weeks will be gone very quickly and I would not have time to be feel lonely :D If everything goes smoothly we should have a 3 weeks together during Christmas before another 10 weeks of separation. Trust that everything is in God's hands.

Just had our last dinner at our cute lovely house. We are moving to Dane's parents'place this weekend. This house is the place where many of our memorable moments happened. It's not a big brand new house, in fact it's nearly 20 years old and is quiet small compare to today's brand new houses out there. However this house means a lot to me because of the people who live in it. :D People whom I love so much.

On the same note about house, I watched this short film from 15Malsysia called 'house' tonight. It's quite touching. That poor little boy who's dream house was the house his father built really catches my emotion. What does your house mean to you? What is your dream house like? Do you think the size, the decor, the layout, the landscape, or the design is important for your house? Or maybe you are willing to have a small and simple house that you and your loved ones are happy and contend. I would choose the latter. It's better to have a happy family in a small house than a big house with a broken family. Bye bye house!  

According to my count down calendar, it only has 2 weeks and 6 days before Dane and I have to say goodbye. :'(. I thought I would be strong and nope I am not. I already miss him heaps. You never know how much you will miss someone until you have to say goodbye...

      How could I go for a day not seeing him??? I don't know... 

      How can I go to sleep without him and wake up without him??? I don't know...

      How would go shopping without him??? Look after the kids without him??? I don't know

      How could I survive not talking to him face to face and his hugs and kisses??? I don't know

However, I know our God is with us and He is there for us wherever we are. He is our strengths and our comforter. Our Lord Jesus knows what loneliness is and He truly knows what it is like to be separated from loved ones.

I want to take one day at the time and cherish now.
Be strong and take courage!

Deuteronomy 31:8
And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake; do not fear nor be dismayed.” you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”




I love this song and it really comforts me a lot!


Be Strong And Take Courage
By Don Moen

Be strong and take courage
Do not fear or be dismayed
For the Lord will go before you
And His light will show the way

Be strong and take courage
Do not fear or be dismayed
For the one who lives within you
Will be strong in you today

Why don' you give him all of your fears
Why don't you let him wipe all of your tears
He knows, He's been through pain before
And He knows all that you've been looking for

So, be strong and take courage
Do not fear or be dismayed
For the Lord will go before you
And His light will show the way

Be Strong and take courage
Do not fear or be dismayed
For the one who lives within you
Will be strong in you today

Nothing can take you out of his hand
Nothing can face you can't command
I know that you will always be
In His love, in His power you will be free!!

So, be strong and take courage
Do not fear or be dismayed
For the Lord will go before you
And His light will show the way

Be Strong and take courage
Do not fear or be dismayed
For the one who lives within you
Will be strong in you today

"A baby makes: love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten and the future worth living for."

 

I saw this quote and just had to share it here. It's so true of what it says. Baby - a wonderful gift of GOD.

 

It's finally Saturday! As usual we took Jono to his weekly swimming lesson at 8am. He enjoyed it and did really well. After that we met up with Dane's bro and sis-in-law to have breakfast at Ikea. Of course since we're in Ikea, we also bought some things from there. I bought some more bibs for Esther and bought 2 plastic chairs for Jono. I absolutely love Ikea and almost everything they have for kids. They are so well designed and really funky looking too.

Straight after Ikea, we went to meet up with my church friends from Malaysia. We had lunch and tried to catch up with things and kids. We had not seen each other for maybe 9/10 years. Now we are all parents and busy with kids. I also felt 'old'.

Now, I'm having a girls night with my precious daughter Esther while Dane's taking Jono to see fireworks in the city. It's Brisbane River Festival and there will be a spectacular fireworks on the river. It would be very nice for me to go as well, but someone has to think about Esther since she's only a baby. Crowd, cold night and limited space will be hard for a little baby. So I stay home. :D Hopefully I get to enjoy some 'me' time after Esther has gone to bed for the night.

I must have Jesus in my whole life
I must have Jesus in my life
In my walking, in my talking, in my sleeping, in my waking
I must have Jesus in my life


Chinese Version:
我必须有主在我生命中，我必须有主在我心；
在我行走，在我谈话；在我休息，在我苏醒；
必须有主在我心

Truly acknowledge that I must have JESUS in my life. In everything that I do I need you Lord. I used to sing this song a lot in my M'sia church's Sunday School. It is so simple yet so true. Should teach Jono how to sing it. :D

Today is Father's Day in Australia. We were going to celebrate it with Dane's family at a Chinese restaurant for lunch but Esther was still not well so we decided to stay at home instead. Jono gave Dane a homemade card and we bought him a set of hair clipper/trimmer. This gift will come in handy once he started his Air Force job as he needs to maintain his 'army' hairstyle on a regular basis. Counting down to 6th Oct. We love you daddy/hubby!

My heart just hurts when I see my two children being sick and miserable. Especially Esther, I can't bear to see her suffers for another day. She is coughing, throwing up, having a running nose and a fever. I miss her smile and cheerfulness. Meanwhile, Jono was not too bad but he constantly has a running nose. We had gone through like 2 boxes of tissue in just 4 days.  He also has a sore throat and coughs a bit. He kept saying things like "mummy, my nose is annoying me, I need to see the doctor!" (he even hit his nose and was really upset) and "mummy, I can't talk" (cause he has a sore throat).

We haven't been able to get out of the house this week at all as I wanted the kids to have as much rest as possible. :'-( I can't wait to have my healthy and happy kids back and to be able to do all the fun things with them. Praying for a quick recovery!

Finally, we have started to pack our stuffs into boxes and throwing away things that we don't need anymore. We are getting ready to move to Dane's parents house and preparing the house for rent. At the same time, Dane is getting ready to go for his training in less than 5 weeks. I won't be able to see him for 10 weeks and I am sure it will be hard.. Jono will be very sad too as he is a real daddy's boy. I was trying to explain to him that daddy is going away for training and we won't see him for a while. He replied 'why is daddy going to ride on the train and not taking me?" Hahaha, how cute.

I was so emotional when trying to pack away things and thinking about leaving our house behind. This house has so many memories and we (especially me) really love it. I cannot stand the thought that someone else is going to live in it soon and it is really sad. Not that we haven't moved before but this time is different, we are actually moving away from all things we love---our family, our house, our friends, our lives in Brisbane and many many things here.

To ease the transition, I try to see it as a new start for us wherever we are going to be posted. Looking forward to decorate the new house, exploring the new place, and meeting new people. We have been teaching Jono to memorise Bible verses, and of the them is "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9. YES, we know our God is with us wherever we are going. THANK YOU LORD for your wonderful promises!

Some updates on Jono:

1) He now has an imaginary friend called 'Chop Chop'. According to Jono's description, Chop Chop is very tiny and is a boy. It's so interesting to see him interacting with Chop Chop but I did tell him that Chop Chop is not real.

2) He enjoys playing with playdough, lego duplos, and little people. He can play with those toys for at least 1 hour by himself. He is particularly good at making things that really look like the actual things. Dane said he must take notice of the details of things he sees.

Jono's Lego Duplo Crocodile

Postman's Bed

3) Jono started to play better with Esther. He would be really gentle and look after her when she's around.

4) He has grown taller!!! Yes, his long pants/jeans now look like 3/4 pants. :D Guess it's time to get him new pants.

5) He also tries to have an adult conversation at the dinner table. His favourite line: "Daddy, how's your work today?" Sooo cute

6) At least once a day Jono would come to me and say 'Mummy I love you' and give me a hug. How sweet!

I'm missing my Malaysia home especially my family. I love this song by Michael Buble. Sometimes when I'm missing home I would listen to it over and over again on my ipod and shed a few tears...

Wondering if I would listen to it more often when Dane left for his training. When I feel alone... However I know I can find comfort in my LORD whom I trust! I KNOW our loving GOD is with me wherever I go and He is watching over my loved ones!

40weeks 1 day pregnant, waiting to be induced on 12th August 2006

Here you go mummies - it's all about your first born!

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? Yes

2. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? Very Excited

3. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 25 when pregnant baby was born when I was 26.

4. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? From the doctor's test

5. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? My hubby was with me and we told my mum and his parents

6. DID YOU FIND OUT THE SEX? Yes at 18 weeks morphology scan

7. DUE DATE? 11th August 2006

8. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? Yes for the first 3 months

9. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? BBQ Pork Rice :P

10. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? Raw meat and heat

11. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX? Male

12. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? Hahaha I really wanted a girl.

13. HOW MANY KGS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? 11kgs

14. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? Yes but it was after the baby was born

15. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? I knew about it

16. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? No

17. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Mater Mothers' Private Hospital

18. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? 10 hours

19. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? My hubby Dane

20. WHO WAS PRESENT WHEN YOU GAVE BIRTH? Dane, Midwife Belinda and my Obstetrician Steve

21. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? Natural

22. DID YOU TAKE DRUG TO EASE THE PAIN? Yes, I had an epidural

23. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 7lb 11 oz (3470g)

24. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN? 13th August 2006

25. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Jonathan

26. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? 3 years old

Thank God our little girl is 6 months old today! Oh I can't believe my baby is growing up so fast.

Some of her progress so far:
-Started eating solid food this month and is doing well.

-Can sit for about 5 seconds without support.

-Recongises her name and people.

-Loves playing with her big brother Jono.

-Loves rolling around and has great hand-eye coordination.

Being parents is a really tough job!!! I literally spend every minute of my awaking time being with my kids and being the 'Mummy'. The kids usually wake up at about 7am each morning and I tell you I would sleep for another minute if they let me. This marks the beginning of my day with the kids. Believe me, it's a really long day especially Jono now has dropped his afternoon nap and Esther only has 2 naps. ME, I have no nap....

I try to take the kids out every morning except Monday (which is our rest day) according to my weekly plan I devised a while ago. It really helps me to relax and make the time more manageable. However, we still have lots of time left in the day before they go to sleep for good at 7pm each night. I was thinking today that working is actually so much easier compare to what I do at home - a full-on 12 hour shift. I at least get morning tea, lunch, and non-contact time at work. At home, I get 'mummy, play with me'!, 'changing dirty nappy', 'mummy, I want this/that' time. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being a mummy but just like everyone else, I do feel physically exhausted and emotionally drained at the end of the day. Honestly speaking I can't wait for 7pm when the kids go to bed then I can have my much needed rest time. After careful consideration, we decided to up Jono's childcare day from 1 day to 2 days a week. He used to go 2 days a week when I was working but we dropped it to 1 day as I wanted to spend more time with him while I'm staying at home full-time. Now, I really needed the extra day a week to recuperate and get some needed peace and quiet. Having 2 'Jono free days' allow me to have 1 day rest, and 1 day to catch up with housework and run errands. I tried not to feel guilty for needing that extra day because I'm convinced that my kids/hubby deserve a happier mum/wife.

Lord, please help me to be patience and give me strength each day to fulfill the many roles that I play. Philippians 4:13 'I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.'

Our little boy has just turned 3. He had a simple but wonderful birthday party with the family. He received lot of presents and he could not be happier. I still can't believe my little boy is 3 years old. He has grown into a handsome boy (a very biased opinion I know :-)).

We thanked God for giving us this wonderful boy 3 years ago. I vividly remember the excitement when we found out we're expecting, the amazing nine months long pregnancy, the beautiful birth and all the precious memories Jono has created and is still creating. At the same time, I have also been a mum for 3 years and really enjoying it. Undoubtedly, there's time when I asked 'what have I got myself into? (when Jono is really naughty and demanding). However, my love for him is deeper everyday and I cherish the time with him as he grows up so quickly.

My poem for Jono:

We longed for you
As in the tummy you grew
With joy and excitement
Your birth's a precious moment


We thank God for you
A wonderful gift we value
You are so special
Our precious little angel


We pray for you
And we love you too
Be a man of God
As life pathway you trod

Winnie the Pooh Birthday Cake

I was really tired on Tuesday, so much so I couldn't bother to cook dinner (was thinking to have some Indians take away). However, I have a wonderful husband who decided to cook dinner and he made us some yummy chicken stir-fry.

While Dane was cooking in the kitchen, I had an interesting conversation with Jono:

Jono: Mummy, what's daddy doing?

Me: Cooking dinner. Do you think you can help daddy?

Jono: Noooo, I can't.

Me: Why?

Jono: I'm only little, I can't reach. I'm SHORT like you!

Me: Hahahahahaha, short like ME???????

Admittedly my son got it right. I know I'm short and will be the shortest in this family when Jono and Esther eventually grow up one day. BUT the most important thing is not your physical appearance it's what's in your heart! "For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

"Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life." Proverbs 4:23

I cut my hair short a day before my wedding anniversary. I wanted to have a new hairstyle and to put an end to my drastic hair loss after the birth of Esther (it's normal to experience hair loss after giving birth). So I went and had my hair cut. I now feel younger and more vibrant with shorter hair. I love it so much I think I'll keep it short from now on. :-)

Can't believe my little baby girl is already 5 months old. She is a very cheerful and sociable baby. She has started to play with her feet a lot and her hands would grab anything that comes to sight. She is nearly sitting up by herself and loves playing with her big brother Jonathan. We pray that Esther will continue to grow happily each day!

It all started from the night before. We went to the in-laws place for dinner. The dinner was nice and we had a great with the family. However that also means the kids did not get to bed at home until roughly 9pm. They usually in bed by 7-7:30pm and will sleep for 12 hours straight. Albeit, they both went to bed last night with no problem and we all woke up at about 7am this morning. Indeed we got woken up by a very very cranky and whinging 3 year old. Jono just would not stop whinging.

Everything/anything seems to frustrate him. He would cry every 2 seconds (very exaggerating I know). Even though we kinda of expected that because he did not get a full 12 hours sleep, BUT it is still very hard to deal with when you still have a 5 month old baby to look after. I really lost it today--- I screamed at Jono and ask him to stop whinging about everything. Yes, one thing I said I would not do --- screaming at my child, I did it. I think many parents would understand how I feel, it is so upsetting when you truly love your child but you can't stop being harsh to them. I know it was not all his fault it was the result of his lack of sleep. I felt so guilty and would love to erase it from my memory if I can. However, we all know what's done is done. Jono is having his afternoon nap now and I'm trying to calm myself down. I asked God to help me to mend this well with Jono.

On a similar note, sleep deprivation is detrimental. That's why we feel cranky when we do not have enough sleep. With not enough sleep, we can face things like loss of concentration, less tolerant towards people/thing, depression, lack of energy and many other harmful consequences. So having enough sleep is really important. Well, I think it's time for me to have a power nap now while both kids are having theirs. I pray for a better afternoon with two happy kids and a relax mum.

Wish I can sleep like Garfield!

Where was I for the last 2 weeks or so??? I did not go away or being lazy, I am just so exhausted at the end of each day and can hardly ever find time to do anything indulgence like writing my blog. Jonathan is able to open his room door now and during nap/sleep time he will keep coming out of his room and trying his hardest to avoid going to bed. I have to be calm and take him back to his room every time and put him back to bed. This can go on for about 1 hour before he finally dozes off. AND when he finally in bed, Esther will be wanting a feed or waking up from her nap. Sooo I just don't have time anymore.

When both kids are in bed at roughly 7:30pm, I started to catch up with housework and other more important things like spending time with hubby. I also try to do a bit more of reading these day to help keep my mind active (as I need to get away from my baby brain to keep my mind fresh). I started reading "the five love languages" for the second time to see how much I have learnt and put into practice after the first reading. I also take longer time to read the Bible and to digest/think upon it. At the moment I'm reading Matthew and is at chapter 25--- about the Lord's coming. It's sooo encouraging to know that our Lord and Saviour is coming soon. A hope that we Christians have in the Lord Jesus Christ. The beautiful meaning in Esther's Chinese name - 希 (hope) and my blog's name --- mumwithhope. Matthew 25:31-34 "When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory: And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats: And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world."

Esther is nearly 5 months old. I could not believe how time really flies. She has grown into an active and happy baby. She loves to watch Jono singing and talking to her. I think the two will be great company for each other. I can't wait to see them doing things together soon. It will be so great!

Dane and I are making a life changing decision as a result of Dane's possible career change. It's a bit immature to put them in details at the moment but we as a family will have to go through a huge change if he gets the job. Praying praying praying! Ok, it's time to go to bed now!

1) I love my sleep.
Thank God both my children sleep through at night early - Jono at 6 weeks old and Esther at 10 weeks old.

2) Getting ready to go out of the house can take a lot of effort.
Try getting yourself and two kids ready to go out is not easy. Many times Esther would spit up and need her clothes change or Jono would refuse to put on his shoes.

3) I enjoy breastfeeding, it's like milk on tap.
Or maybe I am just too lazy to clean a bottle and make up the formula milk. It also saves a lot of money and is best for babies. But for those who can't breastfeed, don't feel guilty as you do what is best for you and your children.

4) I love my oven, rice cooker and slow cooker.
I cook most of my food in the oven and steam my vegetables in the rice cooker while its cooking the rice because it allows me to attend to my children while dinner is cooking.

5) Having family close by is very important.
Or in another word having family for babysitting is very important. My in-laws are great and so are Dane's siblings who love to babysit the kids. My mum would love to babysit but she lives in Malaysia.

6) I love seeing doctor.
More specifically my obstetrician because I got to see my babies while they were still inside me and to hear that they were developing well. I got really excited to go to my antenatal visits every time even though we could wait up to 1 hour or more to be seen.

7) Children are really a reflection of their parents.
I can see so much of myself in Jonathan, and it's good and bad at the same time.

8) My husband Dane can do everything with the kids except breastfeeding.
He plays and sings with them and they just adore him. I can't imagine raising the children without him.

9) You can fit a truck load of stuff into a nappy bag.
For Example: nappies, changing clothes, nappy wipes, washers, toys, food, change mat, plus my wallet, mobile phone, brush, keys, pen, drink bottle and the list goes on.

10) Holidays is not always relaxing as it should be.
We once had to cut our holiday short because Jono was not settled at all. We often have to fit things around the feeding time and nap time.

Yes, inevitably there are good and bad about having children. However, I highly recommend them as they are just so precious and wonderful gift of God. No regrets here!!

Yes, praise God for our 5th wedding anniversary! 3rd July 2004 was our wedding day and it definitely is one of the most significant days in our lives. We made our vows to each other in front of God and our family and friends. I am really grateful and excited that we have made it to 5 years.

Looking back we are indeed very blessed in this 5 years of marriage. We went through a lots of ups and downs including the birth of our two children and lost our first baby to ectopic pregnancy. We supported each other in every aspect of our lives. I know there's no one I wanted to be other than DANE. We seen the worst and the best of each other and our love has not changed instead it's going deeper everyday. I couldn't agree more that LOVE is a choice. We choose to love each other even though we are not always doing the right thing. Just like the verse in Romans 5:8 : "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." God chose to love us and HE put it in action even though us human rebelled against Him. In today's world, people emphasise love is a feeling and just follow your heart. It's wrong! If love is a feeling then we will never stay faithful because feeling comes and go and cannot be trusted. Unconditional love and sacrificial love that Christ has shown is the love that we should have. I love my husband not because he's good looking, or he's really nice to me (even though he is) . I love him because I choose to and accept everything about him. I know Dane does the same.

Happy 5th Wedding Anniversary!

Undoubtedly, we like any other couples, argue, fight and get on to each others' nerves sometimes. Interestingly, I had a read of my bridal shower gift "word of wisdom" from all the sisters in the church, majority of them all quote Ephesians 4:26:"Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath." I supposed we all knew how easy it is for us to get angry at our partner and go to bed unforgiving. One advice I was told to never go to bed without praying for your husband. YES, any anger or disappointment will be gone when you pray for the person you love. I admit we sometimes just got to bed without praying together and for each other. We should do it as often and as regular as possible.

We celebrated this special day with a night out in our beautiful Brisbane city. We dropped two kids off at the grandparents then off to the city we went. We really enjoyed the time with no kids and the dinner was great. Note we didn't give each other gifts and I did not get a flower because for us the most valuable thing we can give each other is ourselves. In short, we had a great night together. The next morning we had a little sleep in as Jono was at the grandparents for a sleepover. So we only had Esther with us and we had a great time playing with Esther before picking up Jono for his swimming lesson.


I felt so refreshed after our 5th anniversary celebration. It's a time to reflect and reevaluate our marriage. We are happy to say that we are still happily married and are looking forward to many years ahead with God's grace and guidance.