Have you heard of the term 'Married Single Mum'? Do you know anyone who is or you are one as well. I found out that I'm one when I was searching other people's experience dealing with husband working away. And yes, I'm a MSM. My husband has been away for 8 weeks now and we are missing him dearly. I have the responsibility of looking after our children. It is not easy as I have my limitation and I do need someone to share the job.

I think the hardest thing is I had relied heavily on Dane before this and I was lost without him.  When he was still here I could call/sms him whenever I need him during the day and he is never too far away. When the days got tough I would just look at the clock and knew that Dane would be home at 5:30pm. He would be here and give me a break. He could lend me his shoulder and give me a hug. 8 weeks I haven't seen him and so do the kids. It took me a few weeks to get the routine right and settled down the kids and myself. No more waiting for Dane to come home so I can cook dinner or go out to do some shopping. There's no other person to bath/shower the kids, to change them, or put them to bed. I have to do it all by myself. Even though I'm staying with my in-laws but they are both working full-time and they are very busy. Ultimately I'm the parent so I do it all. Also I better get used to it too because once we're posted to Newcastle, Adelaide or Darwin I will have no family or friends (hopefully to make some new friends) around. However, God is my strength and He is with me. Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

 

Even though Dane is not physically with us but he is still one of us. He is still the head of this house and we love him.  I think I'm still learning to find the balance and not to make my children feel that they only need mummy. Wisdom I really need it so much. Know how to involve Dane to still be part of our lives is the thing I have to put effort in. I started to talk about daddy and what daddy would do if he was here. I tried to talk  to Jono about the things that we do together with daddy. We wrote letters to daddy and we took photos so we can send it to him. No doubt there's time when Jono wanted to be with daddy and he was very sad that he couldn't go to training with daddy. However, he has been very stable and settled in the last few weeks. At the same time, I have become more independent and learnt to do many things by myself. Even though I know I could do it all but having Dane to share the load would be better. After all marriage is a two people's business. We also have built our family together and it's never complete without him. around. I really missed him last night when it was all quiet and I had no one to share my thoughts/feelings with. By that time we had not talk for 2 days. Thankfully we had about 10 minutes tonight on the phone. It 's so comforting to be able to hear his voice again.

I thank you Lord for giving me strength and comfort when things are tough. Thank you for your daily protection and provision. I can do nothing without you. When there's no one else around I know I have you. You have promised that You will never leave us nor forsake us. I prayed that my life reflects you and that my children will see how mummy's God is a living God. Help me to be an example to them and show them what being strong and courageous mean. Let them learn about how mummy and daddy trust in God and live their lives according to the Bible's Truth. Thank you for everything and I know I'm a happy and blessed 'Married Single Mum'.

My 12 pink roses

On the afternoon of 9th Nov 2009, I got a nice surprise delivered at my door. 12 gorgeous pink roses from my hubby Dane. It really made my day and possibly weeks ahead.. It was so great to 'see' my hubby's love as he was going into bush for that week and we were not able to talk on the phone for whole 6 days.

He was never ever a romantic man, and I am not that type of girl that looks for that either. However, when I got the flowers I was absolutely stoked! Thanks HUBBY, I love you!

We will be able to meet again in less than a month!!!! How can I make it go faster?

My parenting days are getting more and more intellectually challenging. My cheeky boy Jono continues to ask WHY about anything and everything.

For example:

Me: Jono, come and have dinner.

J: Why? Why we have dinner for?

M: Because we get hungry and we need food to give us energy?

J: Why we get hungry for? Why we need energy?

M: We need energy to play and do work. (started to get impatience)

J: Why we play and work? Why mummy? Why?

M: That's what we do.

J: Why????? Why mummy?

M: Ok, eat your dinner. (Stop to explain any more because he is never satisfied with the answers) :P

J: WHy????????

Above is only a tiny glimpse of my "WHY days". I suppose he is going through a stage of learning about others and learning about himself. He is curious and he wanted to know why. He is forcing to me find out more about our world and myself so I can explain them to him. I remember one of my high school English teacher Encik Rahman who often told us we need to be smart so we can answer our children's questions or they would think we are stupid. I guess no parents want their children to think that their parents are dumb. :( However, it is imposibble to know about everything or to have answer for them. The key is to willing to learn and find out as much as we can. Make it a learning process for both parents and the children. I'm proud to know the difference between a seal and a sea lion is that sea lion has ears and seal does not! Amazing right? hahaha

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. ~ Frank A. Clark ~

I found this quote today and I totally agreed with it. Never before I felt that whatever I do I have to be able to explain to my 3 year old just because he wanted to know about everything. My personal beliefs and convictions have never been so carefully thought about so that I can simply and precisely explain them to my son. I reckon this is a great way to find out how much you really know about yourself and things you do and believe in. Parents are like an open book studied by their children who watch them intensely and closely as they learn about life. They in return will be a reflection of us as they learn from us everyday. So be careful what you instill in your children, you reap what you sow!