It all started from the night before. We went to the in-laws place for dinner. The dinner was nice and we had a great with the family. However that also means the kids did not get to bed at home until roughly 9pm. They usually in bed by 7-7:30pm and will sleep for 12 hours straight. Albeit, they both went to bed last night with no problem and we all woke up at about 7am this morning. Indeed we got woken up by a very very cranky and whinging 3 year old. Jono just would not stop whinging.

Everything/anything seems to frustrate him. He would cry every 2 seconds (very exaggerating I know). Even though we kinda of expected that because he did not get a full 12 hours sleep, BUT it is still very hard to deal with when you still have a 5 month old baby to look after. I really lost it today--- I screamed at Jono and ask him to stop whinging about everything. Yes, one thing I said I would not do --- screaming at my child, I did it. I think many parents would understand how I feel, it is so upsetting when you truly love your child but you can't stop being harsh to them. I know it was not all his fault it was the result of his lack of sleep. I felt so guilty and would love to erase it from my memory if I can. However, we all know what's done is done. Jono is having his afternoon nap now and I'm trying to calm myself down. I asked God to help me to mend this well with Jono.

On a similar note, sleep deprivation is detrimental. That's why we feel cranky when we do not have enough sleep. With not enough sleep, we can face things like loss of concentration, less tolerant towards people/thing, depression, lack of energy and many other harmful consequences. So having enough sleep is really important. Well, I think it's time for me to have a power nap now while both kids are having theirs. I pray for a better afternoon with two happy kids and a relax mum.

Wish I can sleep like Garfield!

Where was I for the last 2 weeks or so??? I did not go away or being lazy, I am just so exhausted at the end of each day and can hardly ever find time to do anything indulgence like writing my blog. Jonathan is able to open his room door now and during nap/sleep time he will keep coming out of his room and trying his hardest to avoid going to bed. I have to be calm and take him back to his room every time and put him back to bed. This can go on for about 1 hour before he finally dozes off. AND when he finally in bed, Esther will be wanting a feed or waking up from her nap. Sooo I just don't have time anymore.

When both kids are in bed at roughly 7:30pm, I started to catch up with housework and other more important things like spending time with hubby. I also try to do a bit more of reading these day to help keep my mind active (as I need to get away from my baby brain to keep my mind fresh). I started reading "the five love languages" for the second time to see how much I have learnt and put into practice after the first reading. I also take longer time to read the Bible and to digest/think upon it. At the moment I'm reading Matthew and is at chapter 25--- about the Lord's coming. It's sooo encouraging to know that our Lord and Saviour is coming soon. A hope that we Christians have in the Lord Jesus Christ. The beautiful meaning in Esther's Chinese name - 希 (hope) and my blog's name --- mumwithhope. Matthew 25:31-34 "When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory: And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats: And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world."

Esther is nearly 5 months old. I could not believe how time really flies. She has grown into an active and happy baby. She loves to watch Jono singing and talking to her. I think the two will be great company for each other. I can't wait to see them doing things together soon. It will be so great!

Dane and I are making a life changing decision as a result of Dane's possible career change. It's a bit immature to put them in details at the moment but we as a family will have to go through a huge change if he gets the job. Praying praying praying! Ok, it's time to go to bed now!

1) I love my sleep.
Thank God both my children sleep through at night early - Jono at 6 weeks old and Esther at 10 weeks old.

2) Getting ready to go out of the house can take a lot of effort.
Try getting yourself and two kids ready to go out is not easy. Many times Esther would spit up and need her clothes change or Jono would refuse to put on his shoes.

3) I enjoy breastfeeding, it's like milk on tap.
Or maybe I am just too lazy to clean a bottle and make up the formula milk. It also saves a lot of money and is best for babies. But for those who can't breastfeed, don't feel guilty as you do what is best for you and your children.

4) I love my oven, rice cooker and slow cooker.
I cook most of my food in the oven and steam my vegetables in the rice cooker while its cooking the rice because it allows me to attend to my children while dinner is cooking.

5) Having family close by is very important.
Or in another word having family for babysitting is very important. My in-laws are great and so are Dane's siblings who love to babysit the kids. My mum would love to babysit but she lives in Malaysia.

6) I love seeing doctor.
More specifically my obstetrician because I got to see my babies while they were still inside me and to hear that they were developing well. I got really excited to go to my antenatal visits every time even though we could wait up to 1 hour or more to be seen.

7) Children are really a reflection of their parents.
I can see so much of myself in Jonathan, and it's good and bad at the same time.

8) My husband Dane can do everything with the kids except breastfeeding.
He plays and sings with them and they just adore him. I can't imagine raising the children without him.

9) You can fit a truck load of stuff into a nappy bag.
For Example: nappies, changing clothes, nappy wipes, washers, toys, food, change mat, plus my wallet, mobile phone, brush, keys, pen, drink bottle and the list goes on.

10) Holidays is not always relaxing as it should be.
We once had to cut our holiday short because Jono was not settled at all. We often have to fit things around the feeding time and nap time.

Yes, inevitably there are good and bad about having children. However, I highly recommend them as they are just so precious and wonderful gift of God. No regrets here!!

Yes, praise God for our 5th wedding anniversary! 3rd July 2004 was our wedding day and it definitely is one of the most significant days in our lives. We made our vows to each other in front of God and our family and friends. I am really grateful and excited that we have made it to 5 years.

Looking back we are indeed very blessed in this 5 years of marriage. We went through a lots of ups and downs including the birth of our two children and lost our first baby to ectopic pregnancy. We supported each other in every aspect of our lives. I know there's no one I wanted to be other than DANE. We seen the worst and the best of each other and our love has not changed instead it's going deeper everyday. I couldn't agree more that LOVE is a choice. We choose to love each other even though we are not always doing the right thing. Just like the verse in Romans 5:8 : "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." God chose to love us and HE put it in action even though us human rebelled against Him. In today's world, people emphasise love is a feeling and just follow your heart. It's wrong! If love is a feeling then we will never stay faithful because feeling comes and go and cannot be trusted. Unconditional love and sacrificial love that Christ has shown is the love that we should have. I love my husband not because he's good looking, or he's really nice to me (even though he is) . I love him because I choose to and accept everything about him. I know Dane does the same.

Happy 5th Wedding Anniversary!

Undoubtedly, we like any other couples, argue, fight and get on to each others' nerves sometimes. Interestingly, I had a read of my bridal shower gift "word of wisdom" from all the sisters in the church, majority of them all quote Ephesians 4:26:"Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath." I supposed we all knew how easy it is for us to get angry at our partner and go to bed unforgiving. One advice I was told to never go to bed without praying for your husband. YES, any anger or disappointment will be gone when you pray for the person you love. I admit we sometimes just got to bed without praying together and for each other. We should do it as often and as regular as possible.

We celebrated this special day with a night out in our beautiful Brisbane city. We dropped two kids off at the grandparents then off to the city we went. We really enjoyed the time with no kids and the dinner was great. Note we didn't give each other gifts and I did not get a flower because for us the most valuable thing we can give each other is ourselves. In short, we had a great night together. The next morning we had a little sleep in as Jono was at the grandparents for a sleepover. So we only had Esther with us and we had a great time playing with Esther before picking up Jono for his swimming lesson.


I felt so refreshed after our 5th anniversary celebration. It's a time to reflect and reevaluate our marriage. We are happy to say that we are still happily married and are looking forward to many years ahead with God's grace and guidance.