Have you heard of the term 'Married Single Mum'? Do you know anyone who is or you are one as well. I found out that I'm one when I was searching other people's experience dealing with husband working away. And yes, I'm a MSM. My husband has been away for 8 weeks now and we are missing him dearly. I have the responsibility of looking after our children. It is not easy as I have my limitation and I do need someone to share the job.

I think the hardest thing is I had relied heavily on Dane before this and I was lost without him.  When he was still here I could call/sms him whenever I need him during the day and he is never too far away. When the days got tough I would just look at the clock and knew that Dane would be home at 5:30pm. He would be here and give me a break. He could lend me his shoulder and give me a hug. 8 weeks I haven't seen him and so do the kids. It took me a few weeks to get the routine right and settled down the kids and myself. No more waiting for Dane to come home so I can cook dinner or go out to do some shopping. There's no other person to bath/shower the kids, to change them, or put them to bed. I have to do it all by myself. Even though I'm staying with my in-laws but they are both working full-time and they are very busy. Ultimately I'm the parent so I do it all. Also I better get used to it too because once we're posted to Newcastle, Adelaide or Darwin I will have no family or friends (hopefully to make some new friends) around. However, God is my strength and He is with me. Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

 

Even though Dane is not physically with us but he is still one of us. He is still the head of this house and we love him.  I think I'm still learning to find the balance and not to make my children feel that they only need mummy. Wisdom I really need it so much. Know how to involve Dane to still be part of our lives is the thing I have to put effort in. I started to talk about daddy and what daddy would do if he was here. I tried to talk  to Jono about the things that we do together with daddy. We wrote letters to daddy and we took photos so we can send it to him. No doubt there's time when Jono wanted to be with daddy and he was very sad that he couldn't go to training with daddy. However, he has been very stable and settled in the last few weeks. At the same time, I have become more independent and learnt to do many things by myself. Even though I know I could do it all but having Dane to share the load would be better. After all marriage is a two people's business. We also have built our family together and it's never complete without him. around. I really missed him last night when it was all quiet and I had no one to share my thoughts/feelings with. By that time we had not talk for 2 days. Thankfully we had about 10 minutes tonight on the phone. It 's so comforting to be able to hear his voice again.

I thank you Lord for giving me strength and comfort when things are tough. Thank you for your daily protection and provision. I can do nothing without you. When there's no one else around I know I have you. You have promised that You will never leave us nor forsake us. I prayed that my life reflects you and that my children will see how mummy's God is a living God. Help me to be an example to them and show them what being strong and courageous mean. Let them learn about how mummy and daddy trust in God and live their lives according to the Bible's Truth. Thank you for everything and I know I'm a happy and blessed 'Married Single Mum'.

My 12 pink roses

On the afternoon of 9th Nov 2009, I got a nice surprise delivered at my door. 12 gorgeous pink roses from my hubby Dane. It really made my day and possibly weeks ahead.. It was so great to 'see' my hubby's love as he was going into bush for that week and we were not able to talk on the phone for whole 6 days.

He was never ever a romantic man, and I am not that type of girl that looks for that either. However, when I got the flowers I was absolutely stoked! Thanks HUBBY, I love you!

We will be able to meet again in less than a month!!!! How can I make it go faster?

My parenting days are getting more and more intellectually challenging. My cheeky boy Jono continues to ask WHY about anything and everything.

For example:

Me: Jono, come and have dinner.

J: Why? Why we have dinner for?

M: Because we get hungry and we need food to give us energy?

J: Why we get hungry for? Why we need energy?

M: We need energy to play and do work. (started to get impatience)

J: Why we play and work? Why mummy? Why?

M: That's what we do.

J: Why????? Why mummy?

M: Ok, eat your dinner. (Stop to explain any more because he is never satisfied with the answers) :P

J: WHy????????

Above is only a tiny glimpse of my "WHY days". I suppose he is going through a stage of learning about others and learning about himself. He is curious and he wanted to know why. He is forcing to me find out more about our world and myself so I can explain them to him. I remember one of my high school English teacher Encik Rahman who often told us we need to be smart so we can answer our children's questions or they would think we are stupid. I guess no parents want their children to think that their parents are dumb. :( However, it is imposibble to know about everything or to have answer for them. The key is to willing to learn and find out as much as we can. Make it a learning process for both parents and the children. I'm proud to know the difference between a seal and a sea lion is that sea lion has ears and seal does not! Amazing right? hahaha

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. ~ Frank A. Clark ~

I found this quote today and I totally agreed with it. Never before I felt that whatever I do I have to be able to explain to my 3 year old just because he wanted to know about everything. My personal beliefs and convictions have never been so carefully thought about so that I can simply and precisely explain them to my son. I reckon this is a great way to find out how much you really know about yourself and things you do and believe in. Parents are like an open book studied by their children who watch them intensely and closely as they learn about life. They in return will be a reflection of us as they learn from us everyday. So be careful what you instill in your children, you reap what you sow!

Sometimes parents can be really mean. As a mummy I have done some mean things. Here are some of the them:

1) I asked Jono to collect leaves in the backyard to keep him busy for ages. My real reason was I'm lazy to clean up those leaves myself. :P

2) Take the batteries out of his toys and tell him that they're not working anymore. Just so that I can put them away because they annoyed me so much.

3) Secretly eating Jono's biscuits (Dane does the same) and tell him that he was the one who finished them. :P

4) I gave Jono some water instead of the real thing when he ask for 'medicine' because he's sick. LOL

5) I cut up the lollies into tiny pieces so when he asks for lolly I would give him one with no hesitation (one really tiny piece).

6) Telling him 'mummy's busy working' when I was just doing some surfing on the laptop. Very very naughty mummy!

There are many others things but I can't list them all. The idea is parents can be mean sometimes! Hahaha, watch out kids!

Mean Parents

Esther is 8 months old. She is growing up too fast and I can't keep up with it. She has been crawling since 6.5 months and loves pulling herself up since 7 months. She is a chatterbox too. She likes making joyful noise and can say dadadada, duck and tada. Notice the similarity? Yes the D sound, babies can make this sound very easily. Another sound they can make easily is bababa sounds. It's just amazing to see how babies develop and grow, day by day they learn different things and become a little person of their own .

Jono sometimes can get really rough with Esther and he even said to me that he doesn't like Esther. :-( He seems to think Esther is taking over his territory and he is not happy with that. Aaahh the joy of sibling jealousy. Pray that Jono will come around soon enough to know that Esther is not going anywhere and she is part of us. :P

Thank you God for my two beautiful children who continue to amaze me and bring me lots of joyful and tearful moments. They are part of Dane and I. Even though I cannot see or touch dear hubby Dane for few more weeks but I'm able to hold mini Dane and mini Josephine. I can see us in them. :D

1) "I'm a man, I can drink COKE!" He said this to his grandparents when they took him to McDonald's.

2) When I told him we're going to Wagga Wagga and Sydney to see daddy. He said "No, daddy is not in Wagga Wagga, daddy is in training." :D

3) Every time when I drop him off at his kindy, he would say "Mummy, I want to go home". And when I go pick him up, he would say "Mummy, I don't want to go home". Just as well I don't listen to him or ask him to make decision because he does not have a clue what he really wants. :P

4) He also got this really strong view that pink is only for girls. I never said that to him but I think he made his mind up after seeing most girls like pink stuffs. So he asked me, "Mummy, are pigs girl? Why are they pink?"

Some higher level thinking questions:

1) He asked me the other day "Who made God?" I replied, God is always there, no one made him.

2) While we were watching NEMO, he asked me in the beginning of the movie when Marlin and his wife were naming their babies, "Why Nemo's mummy died?" I was not prepared for it and was really shocked. Sadly I said to him people do die and we can't stop it. We were both very sad to think that Nemo could not be with his mummy. I think he started to understand death means separation.

Jono's favourite character in 'Finding Nemo' is Dory

I watched this video today, and I just have to share it.



Below is an article I found on the internet that tells us more about the story:

I want to share with you a true story about a man named John Griffith. In the 1930’s he worked as the controller of a huge railroad bridge across the Mississippi River. Every day at certain scheduled times the huge bridge was raised so that barges and other ships might make their way down the river. And according to a schedule, John would lower the bridge so that the freight and passenger trains could rush across.

In the summer of 1937, John Griffith took his then eight-year-old son with him to work for the first time. The boy was excited to watch the big railroad bridge and the trains & boats, and also to see the control house with all kinds of levers over which his daddy had absolute control.

His father took him to an observation deck so that he could watch the boats and trains go by. At noon John put the bridge up to let some ships go by since there would not be a train coming for awhile. He made his way to the observation deck where the two of them had lunch.

Just as John was telling a long story about the trains & boats, he was startled by the shrieking of a train whistle in the distance. He quickly looked at his watch and noticed that it was 1:07.

In the midst of his story telling he had forgotten that the passenger train - the express for Memphis with 400 passengers on board - would soon be roaring across that bridge.

Without panic but very quickly he leaped from the observation deck and ran back to the control tower. He placed his hand upon the massive iron controls and started to close the bridge. But before pulling the lever, he glanced down beneath the bridge to see if there were any ships beneath it.

There a sight caught his eye that made nearly made his heart stop.

His son had slipped from the observation deck and had fallen into the huge gears that operate the bridge. Though the boy was still alive and conscious, his left leg was caught in the cogs of the main gears!   John knew that if he pulled that lever his son would be crushed.

His eyes filled with tears of panic, and his head was spinning. What he could do was to take a rope, rush to the observation tower, tie it and lower himself into the gear box, free his son, bring him back up to the observation deck, and make his way quickly back to the control tower to lower the bridge.

But no sooner had he thought it, than he knew there was no way he could do it in time for the train.

Again, closer than ever, the train whistle sounded. He could hear the wheels clicking over the tracks and the puffing of the engine.

But that was his son!

Yet there were 400 passengers on that train which was roaring toward the bridge. But John Griffith was a father and that was his boy!

………He knew what he had to do…….. so he buried his head in his left arm and pulled the master lever.

That massive bridge lowered into place just as the Memphis Express roared across the Mississippi.

When he lifted his head with his face smeared with tears, he looked into the passing windows of the train.

There were businessmen casually reading their afternoon papers, uniformed conductors looking at their large vest-pocket watches, well-dressed ladies in the dining car sipping coffee, and children pushing long spoons into the dishes of ice cream.

No one looked at the control house and no one looked at the great gear box.

With wrenching agony, John Griffith cried out at the train---- "I sacrificed my son for you! Don't you care?"  But nobody heard.  They never even looked up from their newspapers, watches, coffee and ice cream.

The Son of God has been sacrificed so that we might have eternal life.

Will we look up from our newspapers, watches, coffee and ice cream?

Jono is growing up so fast. He enjoys learning about everything and loves reading information/fact books. He asks lots of why and how questions. He's indeed a keen learner and I enjoy teaching him and sharing what I know with him. As a parent and a teacher, I personally think parents are their children's best teacher. You can send your child to the best school in town but you never spend anytime with them nor teach them anything, then you are wasting your money. Many children in top schools might achieve really well academically, but failed as a person. We can see some of them do drugs and some of them steal and what not. I have seen many parents thought the school is responsible to teach their kids since they send them there. Not so, we as teacher can only do so much in the class.

Every now and then when people praised Jono and how good he was, I felt a sense of pride because I was the one who taught him to have good manners, to share and to be nice to others. I make sure I spend the most time with him not his kindy teacher. Imagine one day when there's a conflict between what you teach your children and what their teacher shows them, and who would they listen to? Do you want them to listen to you or their teacher?

So, parents, spend as much time with your kids and show them the way of lives. We as Christians should be faithful parents to our children. Nannies, childcare, schools, even grandparents can only do so much for them, the responsibility rests on you - Mum and Dad!

"Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-8

Yes, my Lord cares for me and He is always there for me. I know I'm never alone! HE KNOWS everything about me and my condition.

I'm counting my blessings and learn to be thankful and joyful!

I'm feeling under the weather. I'm sick with the flu and is really missing Dane. It's two weeks now since he left for his trianing. He is doing great and very much enjoying the whole thing. I'm doing ok but no doubt I would have days like this when I feel run down and really wish he was here with me.

However, I thanked God for my two beautiful children who keep me busy and focused. Jono is still very chatty and he is learning to cope without daddy. He has started to learn to play with Esther and share his toys with her. :D Esther is very mobile now that she can crawl. She also loves to stand up holding on to tables or anything she can hold on to. She can say 'dadada' as to daddy and duck. How clever!

Everyday I just hang around for Dane's 6pm phone call and that would definitely make me feel better and ready for the next day. Less than 2 months to go now! Can't wait!